How Dare You?
by iwantproof
Summary: FINAL CHAPTER IS UP! Back at the squad! PLEASE read and review. Thanks for the reviews for the first 3 chaps.
1. How Dare You?

" How dare you?" was all I could whisper.

I stood there, watching the man I love, pull away from his new partner, shocked, and slightly embarrassed. He wiped a bit of lipstick from his lips, and sucked in a sharp breath.

" I was your partner for seven years!" I continued to whisper, with the emphasis on the years. " And you're with her for not even seven weeks, and you're already…"

I trailed off shaking my head. I couldn't bring my self to say it. He had KISSED her. How dare he?

I was gone for not 2 months, and during that time he had managed to make out with his new partner. Who replaced ME. Me, his partner, his best friend! The one who he knew he could always fall back on, the one who he could always count on.

How dare he?

Whether he loved me or not was not even the issue. The fact that he had done this in front of me, the fact that he had done this the day I returned. I was gone for 2 months, and this was how he showed me he missed me? Every day I thought about him, pined for him, but this is what he did? Make out with some chick whose husband got whacked?

How dare he?

I was ready to run into his arms, ready to just relax in his embrace. It looked like someone has taken that spot though. She's in his arms, not me. I'm not worth it to him. After years of me taking care of him, putting up with all of his SHIT, I'm not the one in his arms.

How dare he?

I loved him, I loved him with all my heart. I gave him everything I had. Every moment of my time, every ounce of compassion was devoted to him. What did he give me in return?

A slap in the face, you could call it.

How dare he?

I know where this started. It started the day I sat on that bench outside that hospital room, and he told me I would have taken the shot. I WOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN THE SHOT. I could have done it a hundred times, and the result would have been the same. I saved his life, and the way he repaid me was by telling me we couldn't be partners. Seven damn years, seven years of perfection, then I save his life and it's all over?

How dare he?

I miss the days when we were together, so in synch. That's what I told my case agent, that we were "in synch." But that really was true. It was almost like we could read each other's minds. This led to the bond we developed, the bond I thought was unbreakable. But now I see, he would throw it all away, for this girl.

How dare he?

So I took a deep breath and I told him. One by one I listed every way he had broken my heart. Every way he had just torn me apart. And he just stood there, his mouth half open, shifting from foot to foot. I expected him to be angry, I expected him to yell at me, because his personal life was none of my business. But he closed his mouth, and a tear began to trickle down his cheek. With that I began to sob.

Ok, I wrote this right after I saw the preview for next week's l&o which shows Stabler making out with Beck. So I sat down at my computer and wrote everything I thought Olivia should have been feeling if she saw that.

Please review if you think I should write a sequel from Elliot's p.o.v, or any sequel for that matter. If you don't think I should, review anyways! EO damnit!


	2. God, What am I doing?

I can't believe she was standing there. Right in front of me, as I kissed her replacement. She cocked her head to the side, and tears began to well up in her eyes. She blinked them back, I new she wouldn't cry. At least not yet.

God, what am I doing?

I glanced quickly at Dani, who had a perplexed look on her face. I'm sure she figured out who the jealous woman standing a few yards from us was. Dani wasn't bad, she was compassionate, not quite as Olivia was, but she had a good heart. She was smart and beautiful. But again, not quite like Olivia. He should never have brought Beck into this.

God, what am I doing?  
I missed Olivia so much; this was not what was supposed to happen. She was supposed to walk up to me, casual and cool, like always. I would smile; ask her if she was ok. She would nod, and say of course. She was Olivia Benson, of course she was ok. She could look off into the distance, thinking about all we had been through together. Then we would embrace, and I would whisper, "I'm sorry" over and over into her ear. Things weren't quite going as planned.

God what am I doing?

After a few minutes she began to tell me everything I had done wrong. As she spoke, I realized that what she said was true. Every word of it. After everything, I should have been there for her. Each sentence, each feeling, stung more and more as she continued. She wasn't yelling, although in her heart I'm sure she was. It was almost like she was too shocked to yell. Maybe too hurt.

God, what am I doing?

Dani's eyes grew wider and wider with every few words. Why did I kiss her, I wondered, for a moment blocking Olivia out? It was something I had to do, I tried to tell myself. Her husband was dead, my partner was gone, the tension, the need, it was all there. I tried to tell myself that, over and over again. But hearing what I had done to Olivia, hearing her speak to me with such disgust, all I could think was: You Bastard!

God, what am I doing?

Even if I wasn't in love with her, this shouldn't have been our reunion. She left everything she had, her home, her friends, her job; this was not what she should have come back too. She deserved so much more.

God, what am I doing?

She finished, but I could tell there was much more that could have come out of her mouth. But out of respect for our past friendship, some things would go unsaid. I tried to say something, but the will and the words weren't there. A tear raced down my cheek.

God, what am I doing?

She was so beautiful. I liked her hair like that. I liked it the old way too. I realized it didn't matter what she was wearing, or what her hairstyle was. It really didn't even matter what she looked like, her just being Olivia Benson was beautiful to me. I was showing my appreciation of her beauty in a strange why, I pointed out to myself, looking at Dani.

God what, am I doing?

She put her hands on her hips, and I leaned back on the SUV Dani and I were using. I rested my head against the metal frame and closed my eyes. Maybe if I didn't see her hurt like that, I wouldn't be so devastated. But even with my eyes closed I could still see her. The tears now pouring down her face, and I had nothing to say, even though I new she was expecting me to say SOMETHING. I looked at Dani, who looked at me, also expecting me to say something. Olivia stood there for a few more moments, but when she realized I had nothing, she uttered 4 words that would scar me for life.

" I can't believe you," she shook her head, and was forced to walk away.


	3. Half Hysterical

" What the hell are you doing, Elliot?" Dani asked in her accent that I had come to find quite sexy.

I looked at her with a confused look. What was she talking about?  
" You're going to just walk away?" she frowned up at me. " I thought you were better than that!"

She patted me on the arm.

" You mean you don't…" I started, but she put her finger to my lips and shook her head.

" Are you really so blind, you can't see you're in love with her? You winced at every word she said!" Dani exclaimed.

I smiled excitedly down at her, and gave her a quick hug.

" Go get her, Stabler," Dani said, and she kissed me on my cheek before I ran off.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

I couldn't go home. I had to be with someone right now. Yeah that was supposed to be you, Elliot, I thought, disgusted.

So I drove around for a few minutes, until I thought of a place I could go.

About five minutes later I arrived at the doorstep of Casey's apartment. I slowly raised my arm to her door, and it took every ounce of energy to knock.

I heard footsteps as Casey approached the door.

" Who is it?" she asked, peeking through the hole.

" Olivia," I cracked, managing a smile.

With that, she unlocked the door, and smiled. She was wearing a large, gray, Bon Jovi shirt, and blue pajama pants.

" Come to tell me all your stories?" Casey smiled at me, before she realized something was wrong.

Not being able to stand any longer, I fell into her arms, sobbing.

" He, he.." I tried to say, but no words would come out.

" Shhh, it's ok," Casey comforting me, and almost dragging me to her couch. " What the hell happened?"

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

I don't think I've ever driven faster in my life. At this time of the night, there weren't too many cops out (other than myself), but even if there were, I didn't care.

I had one goal, find Olivia. Find her, and apologize. Make everything right.

Yeah, way to dig yourself into a hole, Stabler. I cursed at myself for letting her slip though my grasp.

A few minutes later I arrived at Olivia's old apartment. I wasn't sure if she would still live here, but I had to try.  
" Olivia," I banged on her door. " Olivia!"

I was desperate now, and had anyone been listening, they would have been able to tell by the way my voice cracked. I quickly picked the lock, and barreled into her apartment.

" Olivia!" I yelled again, probably waking some of her neighbors. I ran into her bedroom, but no one was there.

" Godamit!" I screamed again, beside myself.

I laid down on her bed; just knowing it belonged to her gave me comfort. Her room was plain; the walls were white and undecorated.

Next to her bed was a dresser, with a few photos and cards atop it. I grabbed one card that looked familiar.

The front was sparkly and it appeared to be a birthday card.

I opened it, and began to sob.

Happy Birthday, Olivia, it read. And under that, in my messy handwriting, To the greatest partner ever. I'll always be there for ya!

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

" And she's so ugly to!" Casey said between gulps of her scotch.

I nodded.

" Isn't she from like, Russia, or something?" I was drunk.

" I thought it was Estonia?" she shrugged.

I closed my eyes. I couldn't get the image out of my head. It was probably stored in my mind permanently. Closing my eyes didn't help, so I opened them at looked at Casey. Her smile did help though; it reminded me that some people did still care about me.

The drinking helped to dull the pain, but I new I shouldn't be doing this.

" Casey, am I drunk?" I asked, just to be sure.

" Who wouldn't be, after what you just witnessed," she reminded me.

I could tell she wasn't actually drunk, just pretending to make me feel better. In truth, she stayed sober to make sure I didn't do anything stupid.

I downed my 5th beer, but Casey grabbed it from my hand.

" OK Olivia, you've had enough time to wallow in your self pity. No more drinking, you're stronger than this," she cocked her head to the side, and set the drink down on the coffee next to the couch we were both lying on.

" He's such an asshole," was all I could muster.

Casey nodded, and picked up her ringing cellphone.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

" Casey," I gasped into my cellphone.

I heard her getting up and walking into a different room.

" What the hell do you want?" Casey barked, but kept her voice at a low level.

" Hey!" I replied, taken back at her hostility.

" After what you did to my best friend, you expect me to treat you like a king, Stabler," the use of my last name in a formal manner stung, but at least this meant she had heard from Olivia.

" Where is she?" there was a pause, and then a sigh.

" Elliot, I don't think it's a good idea for you to see her tonight," Casey replied.

" Why not?" I asked, getting up from my bed. I was pretty sure I knew the answer though.

" You've got to be kidding me!" Casey whispered frantically. I said nothing. " Look Elliot, she's drunk, half hysterical, and about to pass out on my couch all because of you, that's why!" I heard the dial tone, and fell back down on her bed. Maybe sleeping would help.


	4. Sexy and Confident

My eyes fluttered open at the smell of fresh coffee. Casey soon appeared next to me on the couch, and handed me a steaming cup.

" Thanks," I smiled at her, and took a sip.

She sat down on a chair across from me. I took a deep breath.

" I thought about what you said last night," I began, but I could tell Casey couldn't tell where I was going with it. " I'm not the kind of person to melt over some guy. I'm stronger than that, and this is NOT going to happen again."

Casey shook her head.

" If you ever wanna talk… sober… or not, you know I'm here," Casey replied, and the concern was evident in her eyes.

I chuckled.

" Yeah, sober would be better," I smiled, taking another sip of my coffee.

" You are a cute drunk though," Casey laughed.

I leaned my head back against her couch.

" I guess I'll take that as a complement," I replied, but my thoughts traveled back to Elliot.

It was true, I shouldn't have fell apart over him, but I was by no means over him. Up until a few months ago he and the job were my life, and when both were stripped from me, I was beside myself. And then when I came back to him and… her, it was beyond pain.

I realized I needed him now, and if I couldn't have him as my lover I needed him as a friend, even just as a partner.

With renewed confidence, I stood up, and offered Casey a ride to the squad because she had to check in with Stabler and co.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

I woke up, startled, unsure of where I was. My hands were wrapped tightly around Olivia's pillow; I was sure I could still smell her.

When reality, and last night's events, came crashing down I punched the bed in frustration.

I got up, and angrily through her blanket across the room. I NEED YOU OLIVIA, I screamed at myself.

I quickly threw on my jeans, and a button up shirt I had been wearing yesterday, and practically knocked down her door.

I then drove directly to the squad hoping that Olivia, or at least Casey was there.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

" Olivia!" Munch exclaimed, when Casey and I entered the squad room for the first time since my return.

He ran over and gave me an uncharacteristic hug.

" Doesn't look like she's pregnant," Fin remarked dryly, referring to John's " love child" joke.

Casey and I look from Fin back to Munch, but both just rolled their eyes.

" It's good to have you back, Olivia," Fin added, smiling at me.

This felt like the family I had so missed. Just as I was getting comfortable, they appeared from Cragen's office.

Dani and Elliot.

I closed my eyes, but Casey squeezed my shoulder reassuringly, and I remembered what I had promised myself earlier.

I put on a smile, and walked confidently over to the couple.

" Olivia," Elliot gasped.

" Elliot shut up," I replied. I smiled at Dani.

" Can I borrow him for a sec, then he's all yours," I asked her.

" Sure," she chuckled. " Don't chew him out too bad."

The squad members looked on, like they were watching a fairly interesting soap opera.

I led Elliot to an unoccupied corner of the squad.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

I nearly fainted when I saw her. This was my one and only chance and I was NOT going to blow it.

She walked over to me, sexy and confident, and basically pushed me over into the corner of the squad. Munch, Fin, Casey, and Dani looked on in amusement.

She took a breath before she began.

" Elliot, I'm sorry for all the things I said to you earlier, I didn't mean it," she said, smiling.

Now I was angry. She had NOTHING to be sorry about. This whole mess was my fault; she had some nerve to blame it on herself. Typical Olivia, I thought.

" Your life is your life, but I really care about you, that's why I acted the way I did. I hope we can just put all of this behind us, and be friends again," Olivia offered, but it sounded like she had practiced this before.

I rolled my eyes.

" Olivia…" but I couldn't think of the words.

Well they always say, actions speak louder than words, so I put my arm around her waist, and pulled her in as close to me as I could without squeezing her to death.

" I love you!" I exclaimed, pressing my lips against hers, and kissed her as passionately as I could.

For a moment she was so shocked she didn't react, but it wasn't long before her tongue was exploring my mouth. We kissed each other fiercely, all of the built up tension over the years coming out in this 10 seconds of passion.

Eventually we both had to come up for air.

" Olivia, I kissed Dani, hoping that I'd open my eyes and see you there," I tried to explain, taking her into my arms.

Tears began to well in Olivia's eyes, but she smiled, that beautiful, somewhat secretive smile.

" And I kissed you hoping that I'd open my eyes and see Brad Pitt," she joked.

I pretended to be hurt, but cupped her chin in his hands, and kissed her again, more gently, tenderly this time. Olivia put her arms around my neck, and looked deep into my eyes.

" I love you too," she said, and the squad erupted with applause.

Finally! Sunshine and happiness! Well, thanks for the support so far, but just because the story's over doesn't mean your reviewing duties are over!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEASE, tell me what ya thought, did ya love it, hate it, whatever, I wanna hear it!

EO!!!


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